Once upon a time – and by once upon a time I mean up until last December, when I took these pictures – this was my favourite dress. There has never been another piece of clothing in my wardrobe I cherished more. Whenever I needed a little pick-me-up, felt happy and wanted to celebrate, or just wanted to feel pretty, I’d wear my “pony dress”. If you walked past the store I used to work at on a day when I had it on, I’m sure you’d spot me mindlessly petting the fluffy horses.
And yet, the last time I wore it, I found out I no longer love it with all my heart. Don’t get me wrong, I still adore looking at it but wearing it no longer makes me feel like I did before. Over the last year or so, I noticed that my style has been slowly changing, and this has taken me by surprise. Somehow I thought that at 23 my taste in clothing was already as developed as it would ever be. I don’t know why; it’s not like I didn’t expect to change in other areas for the rest of my life, but having been so interested in fashion for so long, I thought I had figured myself out for good by now. Turns out I haven’t.
In reality, I don’t think anyone ever does, and not just in terms of personal style. Every day you become someone else as life’s experiences change you, so who you thought you were yesterday might not be a perfect definition of the person that woke up in your skin today. And that’s okay. I feel like this might actually be my new mantra – “it’s okay”. The more I grow and learn my own nuances, the more I need to remind myself that changing is okay, that believing something else is okay, that staying the same is in fact what is dangerous. It’s okay to slowly start loving new unexpected things because it doesn’t render useless all the work I’ve put in in trying to know myself. Changing is okay, even if just in terms of personal style, because it means I’m alive.
And thank God for that.